off topic: my daughter is a juvenile delinquent

We interrupt the regular programing to bring you this inconsequential bulletin:

Tonight the part of Juvenile Delinquent will be played by The Girl, age 5

So it’s Wednesday. 3 days into the regular school week. I’ve had 4 reports of misbehavior on my daughter from school. FOUR.

#1 Screeching like a banshee for fun in the girl’s bathroom resulting in her not being able to go out on the playground with the other kids

#2 & 3 General inability to sit still and feign interest in learning during class 2 days in a row resulting in her star being turned backwards 2 days in a row (this is apparently the new “name on the board” that I remember well since it happened to me quite often… but I digress)

#4 Finding a marker on the floor and coming up with the brilliant idea to tag said floor instead of return the marker to its proper spot resulting in a written behavior report that will go into her permanent record or something

Seriously? She’s 5. If she keeps this up, what is she going to come up with she’s 12? Don’t tell me… I don’t have enough Merlot in the house for that.

After Monday’s incident (#1) in the car on the way home she tells me she wants to write her teacher a letter. I ask, naively thinking she wants to apologize, what she wants to write. She tells me, and I quote, “I want to tell Mrs. P that she RUINED my life by not letting play outside ever again.”

Words fail me.

At least after today’s transgression (#4) she told me she wanted to write Mrs. P a letter… to apologize. Maybe there’s hope for us. I’m not holding my breath.


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